Shane Dawson Didn’t Have Sex With His Cat

Rumours were circulating today, or should we say, allegations were made today, about Shane Dawson having sex with his cat. 

These allegations are completely untrue and the origin of the information has been exaggerated, twisted and taken out of context.

Back in 2015, he was on his former podcast, Shane & Friends where he described, as a joke, “One time I laid my cat down on her back… I moved her little chicken legs spread open or whatever… I came all over the cat. It was like my first sexual experience… I was also like 19,”

The audio clip resurfaced on social media and listeners turned old content into a new revelation. Sadly, the joke went over listeners heads, and the wording Shane gave, suddenly became a damaging truth — or at least to some.

We’re here to tell you that Shane didn’t have sex with his cat, nor did he perform the acts he described, as a joke, in his podcast in 2015.

He tweeted today saying, “I didn’t f*** my cat. I didn’t c** on my cat. I didn’t put my d*** anywhere near my car. I’ve never done anything weird with my cats. I promised myself I wasn’t going to make apology videos after last years thing so I’m just trying to be as short and honest with this as possible.

I’ve apologised many times for all the dumb s*** I’ve said in videos and podcasts over the years. I’ve learned my lesson over and over again and I’m more confident now in my ability to be entertaining by just being myself and not being so shocking for laughs.

That story was fake and was based on a dumb awful sketch idea I had years ago that I never made (thank God) and when the opportunity came up for a funny moment in the podcast I told it as if it was a real story which was disgusting and very, very dumb.

My goal with the podcast and with my videos years ago was to tell shocking stories that would make people laugh and scream ‘OMG NO YOU DIDN’T!” and think I was ‘soooo crazy’. It’s embarrassing and I f****** hate myself for it.

Now that I’m making stuff I love and I’m being myself it feels so much better and I finally feel like I’m putting stuff out into the world that means something. I’m not saying I hate everything I’ve made over the years.

There’s so many things I’m so proud of. But all of my offensive jokes, over the top stories, and insensitive jokes are something that still haunt me and something I have to be faced with every day on the internet. And it never gets easier.

So I’m sorry for what I said about my cat, I’m sorry for what I said about anything or anyone that was offensive, and I’m sorry for being someone who thought being super offensive and shocking all the time was funny.

I’m sorry for my past. But I’m really to make it right and I feel like without my past I wouldn’t be who I am today and I wouldn’t be able to grow and spend my energy on things that actually mean something. This has been the best two years of my life and it’s because I’ve been able to drop the act and be myself. And I’m sorry for not doing it sooner.”

One of Shane’s best friends, Garrett Watts, wrote a note in support of him, “A very wise woman (Beyonce Giselle Knowles-Carter) once said ‘I embrace mistakes. They make you who you are’ and damn if that ain’t deeply, DEEPLY, true, for ALL of us.

As someone who knows Shane intimately, I can tell you the shock-style comedy of Shane’s past is the least of interesting and least genuine side of him, and to see what he’s grown into, from what he used to be, has been truly incredible.

For so many, Shane, Guardians Of The Galaxy director James Gunn, Kathy Griffin… a GASP = A LAUGH. That’s the formula. For reference to this style of humour look to the 22 seasons of still running South Park where a bestiality joke is considered incredibly timid. That particular story that Shane told was nothing more than an approach to SHOCK style comedy, and nothing more than a tasteless joke.

Shane is one of the most thoughtful, kind hearted, empathetic guys I know, and the notion of him abusing or hurting another living creature is as implausible as your arms turning into laser-blasting-diamond-cannons (which for the record would be cool as hell…but impossible) so please be forgiving, realise that people change and use your power to cancel and nullify those in this world who are doing truly evil things… not a man who made bad jokes years ago.”

Continue with your incredible journey Shane, you are a walking Netflix.